New Year’s Resolutions/Planning for a New Homeschool Year

         Sorry I haven’t posted for so long; I’ve been busy enjoying the season with my children.  We had a wonderful Christmas, and hope that you did, too!  This is the first year that my daughter has had her own money to spend, and she really enjoyed spoiling us all—especially me.

       I really can’t believe that Christmas is over, and that it’s time to start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions/our plans for a new year of homeschooling.  Do you re-examine your school plan this time of year, while you are thinking about your other resolutions?  Your family life?  Your spiritual life?  We do.  Below are some of the questions I have been considering. 

     Let me make it clear:  I am not posting this list so that I can beat you over the head with it.  Rather, I am beating myself over the head with quite a few of the questions.  I do hope some of them will make you think….they sure make me think!!  I believe that every Mom can think of several areas that need attention/improvement. 

Philippians 3:12-14 says, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  (NIV)

     Here are the questions I’ve been asking myself:

-Am I walking in the Spirit, or in the flesh?  This question is top of my list, because I think it is the most important (along with examining our relationships—see below.)  I think this question is at the heart of everything that happens in our home. 

     Our Pastor has started a series entitled, “Living in the Covenant in the New Year” and it has already been a blessing to me.  I appreciated it so much because Pastor explained our new life in Christ versus “the old man” in a way that even my boys could understand.  (I’ve been trying to explain it to them for years!)

      I hope you’ll take the time to listen to the message linked above.  Also, consider reading the book, “Practicing the Presence of God”, by Brother Lawrence.  You can read it online for FREE.  It is life-changing…living a perpetual prayer life. 

     Here are the rest of my questions I’m asking myself:

-Am I spending enough time in the Word? 

-Am I spending enough time in prayer?  Specifically, am I praying for my children enough?  Am I consistently praying for their future spouses, as well?

-Am I speaking (AND thinking) blessings over my children, or curses?  When my children come to tell me something, do I act as if they are merely an interruption, or do I listen with care and respect (in other words, do my actions communicate to my children that they are a blessing?)

-Also, what do my children think of themselves?  What do they say about themselves?  I want to be aware of this since our perceptions become our reality…we can “curse” ourselves (as well as our children) with negative self-fulfilling prophecies (“You’re so stubborn”…”Why are you having such a tough time with this?”, <child> “I can’t read!” VERSUS “You are very determined, and you have lots of stick-to-itiveness,” “You’re so clever…I know you can do this!” or  <child> “I can read!  I know I can do it!”)

-Do I control my tongue?  Am I teaching my children to control theirs?

-Am I teaching my children the importance of controlling their thoughts?

-How is my mothering?  Am I doing the things I know I need to do for/with my children mentally/physically/spiritually?  What about discipline-wise? 

-Has my attitude been what it should be?  Do I set a good example to my children?  How are my children’s attitudes doing?  Towards discipline?  Towards school?  How can I help them improve and grow?

-How is my tone of voice?  Am I gentle with my children?  Compassionate?

-Is there enough follow-thru to provide accountability when it comes to obedience, attitude, chores, school, etc?  (This is one I really need to work on—as well as total consistency.)

-How is the culture of our home?  Have I become lax in regards to what I let my children watch on TV—or how long I let them watch? (Yes.)   Have I become lax with our computer rules? 

-What is the character of our home?  Is there peace in our home? 

-What is working/not working for us school-wise?  This is a good time of year to revisit your curriculum and make changes as necessary.

-Is my home conducive to learning?  Are art supplies easily at hand?  Are there lots of different types of books available for my children to choose from freely?  Is my “school area” organized and ready to go?  (In other words, is our home an enriching environment?)

-Am I providing enough creative play/outside play time for my children?

-Am I planning time for the “fun stuff”–and getting it done?  (Not nearly enough!)

     And, of course, most importantly, I ask myself about the 4R’s:

 -Relationships:  How are our family’s relationships with God going?  What is our spiritual temperature?  Are we sick, or healthy?   Are we, as a family and as individuals, growing in the Lord?  What do we need to change?  Are we putting off the “old man”, and becoming new creatures? 

     Am I taking the time I need to grow relationships within our family?  Am I teaching/helping my children grow their relationships with others in the family?  Am I making time to play with my children? Do we laugh together, play games together, etc (do we take time for relationship builders?) 

     Do I provide each child with enough cuddle time?  What about hugs/affectionate touch throughout the day (ruffling the hair, rubbing the shoulders, etc) to communicate my love to them?  

    Here is a Spiritual Growth Assessment from Lifeway that might be helpful to you.   

-Routines:  How are our routines working?  Do we need to make any changes, or simply work on being more consistent?  How well am I managing my time?  Am I teaching my children to manage theirs?

 –Readiness:  What are we doing too much of/not enough of?  Are there subjects/areas where we are falling short—areas where the curriculum needs to be beefed up?  (Am I providing the learning activities/opportunities that my children are ready for?)

     Alternately, am I trying to do too much?  Am I pushing my children too hard?  Am I frustrating myself and my children with inappropriate expectations?  Remember that with young children, it is important to wait for signs of ability, interest, and spontaneous learning before trying to instruct our children in academic subjects.  If you have a preschooler, remind yourself that you don’t have to work your child to death getting him “ready for Kindergarten.”  Instead, you can make your homeschool ready for your Kindergartener. 

      If you have a Kindergartener, give him a relaxed, traditional Kindergarten experience and ease into seatwork/the 3R’s only as they are ready (and never forget how much they learn through real life, hands-on experiences, conversation, and through being read to!)

-Reading aloud:  Am I spending enough time reading aloud to my children—no matter their age?  We need to continue building up our read aloud time.  One goal I have set for myself is getting my boys ready for bed earlier, so that we have more time to read before bedtime.  We are in the middle of two series:  My husband and I are taking turns reading Hank the Cowdog to the boys, and my daughter has just started reading the Chronicles of Narnia to them (this is in addition to the reading we do for homeschool.)

     All these questions boil down to three main questions:  1) Am I walking in the Spirit (and receiving His power to help me do what I know I should do),  2) Am I a balanced Mom?,  and  3) Am I making the main thing the main thing–in my personal life and my home life?

     I will prayerfully consider each of these questions over the next couple of days, and write out some goals in response to them.  What about you?  What questions have you been asking yourself?  Are you making any New Year resolutions this year?

~Blessings,

           Susan

© 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.  Copyrighted materials may not be re-distributed or re-posted without express permission from the author.

Family Rules For Preschoolers and Grade-Schoolers

        Does your family have clear rules about behavior?  Do your children know what the rules are?  Do they understand the consequences for disobedience?  (Are there consequences?)              

         Preschoolers are constantly learning about (and testing) the rules.  It’s hard for them to remember very many rules at first, so your rules should be simple–something along these lines:

1.  We love and obey the Lord Jesus Christ with all our hearts.  (This covers so much–lying, stealing, etc–God’s rules.  If your child has a tendancy towards a specific sin I’d list it separately, as I did below.)

2.  We obey Mommy and Daddy quickly and cheerfully.  We also obey other authorities in our lives (Grandma and Grandpa,  Sunday School teachers, etc.)   

3.  We treat others the way we want to be treated (the Golden Rule).

4.  We take care of our toys, and pick up cheerfully.

5.  We eat what is given to us without complaining.

6.  We don’t whine, complain, or “pitch fits.”

       The consequences you choose should matter to your children.   They shouldn’t be harsh, but they should be something they want to avoid.  Each family has to choose what works best for them…but whatever the consequences are, your children should be aware of them before the fact.  It’s not fair to punish a child for something that s/he doesn’t know is wrong.  When your preschoolers are still learning the rules you will probably have to give them “two strikes”; one time to remind them/tell them about the rules (a warning); repeat offenders earn the consequence.

      Recently I’ve re-vamped our family rules to reflect my children’s ages and the issues we’ve been trying to correct.  Remember that my youngest are now 7 and 9.  Now that my boys are getting older, we can add more rules and make them specific so that my boys don’t have any excuses.  I’ve been reading the rules to the boys almost everyday, and choosing one to discuss in greater detail.  This also gives us a chance to discuss the positive character traits we use when we follow our family rules.

House Rules About Behavior:  (Our adaptation of The Clarkson’s book, Our 24 Family Ways)

 1.  We love and obey the Lord Jesus Christ with all our hearts, remembering that this means choosing to put Him on the throne of our hearts (making Him the boss.)

 2.  We obey Mom, Dad and other authorities quickly and cheerfully (Pastor, piano teacher, coach, relatives, big sister) with a cheerful “Yes, Mom”, or “Yes, Sir,” etc.

 3.  We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit.  We repent of our wrongs:  We are sorry; we ask forgiveness; we change our behavior.

 4.  When someone apologizes to us and asks for forgiveness, we forgive them.  We do not hold grudges or withhold our love; we do not return evil for evil.

 5.  We do not whine or argue.  We do not roll our eyes, fall or slouch down, sigh or complain.  This shows anger, disrespect and disobedience.  (Do all things w/o arguing and complaining…Phil. 2:14)

 6.  We accept NO as NO and drop the subject.

 7.  We choose to do what is right, no matter what other people do or say.

 8.  Our goal is to show the fruit of the spirit in all we say and do.  We choose to have good attitudes, living out love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control. 

 9.  We are considerate of others, using good manners.  We don’t talk with food in our mouths, burp, etc; and we don’t think those things are funny.  We are gracious to everyone, even if we don’t feel like it.

 10. We come the first time we are called.  We drop whatever we are doing and obey right away.

 11.  We tell the truth the first time we are asked.

 12.  We do not yell or otherwise show our anger towards others. We choose not to let anger control us.

 13.  We treat others with HONOR and RESPECT.  We listen carefully to others, stopping what we are doing and making eye contact.  We are CAREFUL not to hurt others in word or deed, treating others the way we want to be treated (Golden Rule.)  We do not bully, pester or annoy others.  (Others first, self last; give more, take less.)

 14.  We do not interrupt others, especially when they are on the phone, or when grown-ups are talking to other grown-ups.

 15. We listen to instruction respectfully, remembering that we do not know more than our elders (listen and learn.)  We are teachable, not proud.

 16.   The older protects the younger.  The older remembers his example to the younger.

 17.  We do not sneak or STEAL food.

 18.  We eat what we are given cheerfully, with a thankful heart.

 19.  We obey the schedule and chore chart; we DO NOT SHIRK.  (YOU WILL BE FOUND OUT.)    Be diligent with your schoolwork and your chores, working as unto the LORD. 

20.   If we don’t know what to do, we ask.

 21.  We understand that our actions have consequences.  When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence.  Good behavior reaps rewards.  Naughty behavior reaps consequences. We don’t blame others for the consequences we deserve.   

 22.  We remember that God sees all and knows all—even our hearts.

 23.  When we are not at home, we obey the same rules we do when we are at home. 

 Rules Concerning Our Home and Possessions: 

1.  We take care of what we have, using it wisely and responsibly. 

2.  Play with one thing at a time. When you are finished playing with a toy, put it away BEFORE you get something new out. (Toys that “go together” are excluded.)

3.  We do not go into another person’s room without being invited. 

4.  We do not get things out without permission (from the t0y closet, art hutch, etc.)

5. If you get it out, put it away.  If you open it, close it.   If you turn it on, turn it off.  If you make a mess, clean it up. (If you need help, ask for it!)

6. We care for our possessions and our house carefully.  We close doors, drawers, etc carefully, and we don’t hit or bang the walls or furniture with our bodies or our toys.  We are not destructive.

7. We do not make unnecessary work for others.  We take initiative to clean up after ourselves, leaving each room we’ve entered looking better than it did before.  (A place for everything, and everything in its place.)

8. We do not HIDE our messes.

9. We do not touch or play with other people’s possessions unless we have permission first.  We do not borrow from others without permission.  We do not look through someone else’s drawers or closets without permission (we aren’t snoops.)

10. Put your laundry in the correct hamper right when you take it off; no socks or dirty clothes may be thrown on the floor. 

11. Hang up your wet towels, and re-use them at least 2-3x’s. 

12.  THINK about what you do (wipe your feet, keep dirty hands off things, etc); LOOK around carefully and learn to SEE your mess.   

13.  No toys are to be left outside at night. 

14.  Keep your shoes in your closet (not on the floor) and then you’ll always know where they are. 

15.  No papers, pencils, crayons, or garbage left on the table or floor. 

16.  Ten minute pick up at 11 AM and 4 PM.

 17.  Remember that if you mistreat your possessions or are irresponsible with them, mom and dad will not replace them.

18.   When we are not at home, we obey the same rules we do when we are at home.

       These are our rules!  I’d love it if you’d share yours.  ~Susan

        Our 24 Family Ways is a great devotional to use with older children (8+).

  © 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

Character Trait: Graciousness

       Recent events in my life have left me pondering the character trait graciousness.  At first I was thinking of it only as it refers to kindness, hospitality, and good manners.  But as I researched it, I realized that graciousness is perhaps the most important character trait of all.

        Graciousness encompasses all other character traits.  Here is the definition of “gracious”, from Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:

1. Favorable; kind; friendly; as, “the envoy meet with a gracious reception.”

2.  Favorable; kind; benevolent; merciful; disposed to forgive offenses and impart unmerited blessings.

3.  Favorable; expressing kindness and favor.  

4.  Proceeding from divine grace; as a person in a gracious state.

           Here is a more modern definition, taken from  Noah Webster’s New International Dictionary of the English Language:

1. Abounding in grace or mercy; manifesting love, or bestowing mercy; characterized by grace; beneficent; merciful; disposed to show kindness or favor; condescending; as, his most gracious majesty.

2. Abounding in beauty, loveliness, or amiability; graceful; excellent.

3. Produced by divine grace; influenced or controlled by the divine influence; as, gracious affections. 

        Synonyms:  Virtuous.  Good.  Self-sacrificing.  Kind.  Friendly; with kind condescension (in other words, being kind even to those you think are “beneath” you and/or those who are younger or less knowledgeable than you.)  Dignity.  Charm.  Class. 

        Antonyms: Immoral. Bad.  Selfish.  Rude.  Harsh.  Unkind. Unbecoming.  Unmerciful. Unfriendly. Annoying. 

       We often associate graciousness with the old south and kind hospitality–or with older, Godly women who set good examples for us…

 Titus 2: 3-5 (Amplified Bible):  Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers…They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble, so that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).

        …But we should associate the word “gracious” with God.  The root of the word gracious is grace.  Praise God for his Grace, which is a part of the very nature of God.  Without the undeserved grace God has given us, we would all be lost in our sins for eternity. 

       The very first time the scriptures describe the nature of God, the word “gracious” is used:  

Exodus 34:6-7:  The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin….  (NIV)

        This theme–in fact, these same words (“compassionate and gracious God”), are used over and over in the scriptures.   

          God is gracious, and we are to imitate Him.  I think we could take it a step further and say that graciousness is part of holiness—and we are called to grow in holiness: 

 1 Peter 1:16  For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

 3 John 1:11   Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.

        The word “gracious” is epitomized in the Golden Rule and in the phrase, “What would Jesus do?”  It’s all about treating others with kindness, consideration, and class.  It’s about having good manners.  It’s about love.

 John 13:34 (NIV) A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

         In the workplace, graciousness is the epitome of professionalism. In the home, graciousness is shown in sacrificial love. On the freeway, a gracious woman defers her rights for the sake of others.

        Traditionally, graciousness has been a sign of a good upbringing.  Conversely, a lack of graciousness will effect your reputation in a negative way.

 How to be a Gracious Person

-Always help others feel comfortable—even if you are uncomfortable.

-Be friendly, even if you feel shy.  Give a firm handshake, and look people in the eye when you are talking to them (when listening to them, too!) 

-Use good manners. 

-Be a servant to others.

-Gracious people take criticism graciously, even when the criticism is unjust.  It’s normal to feel an immediate need to defend ourselves, especially if our reputation is at stake…but it is best to keep quiet and not let the heat of the moment overcome us. 

-Don’t speak when you are angry.  Avoid arguments and disagreements. 

-Accept constructive criticism with poise.

 Remember that:

-A gracious person would never set about to hurt another person purposely, nor seek revenge for wrongs done (whether real or perceived.)

-A gracious person, when wronged, will seek a peaceable resolution privately.  A gracious person doesn’t gossip, grumble about others, or make private disagreements public.

-Graciousness, or a lack thereof, reveals your true heart and character. 

           Every day we are given chances to practice graciousness:  When we are driving and someone cuts us off or forces their way into our lane; when our children are being silly and loud, ignoring our commands to stop; when we are sick, cranky or tired; when someone is sick and needs extra care; when our husband calls at the last minute to say he’s bringing the boss home for dinner (or to say he’s not going to be home for dinner—and you’ve taken the time to fix him his favorite!) 

          It isn’t easy to be gracious.  It is a character trait that seems to have almost disappeared in the world today—even amongst Christians.  All too often, we demand our “rights”.  We want things to go our way. We are selfish.  We even long for revenge when others hurt us.  But I am more convinced than ever that I want to be a gracious person.  I want to be a reflection of God’s Grace on earth.  How about you?

 Matthew 16:24   Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

      Next time:  Teaching Graciousness to Children

 © 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

Challenge To Christian Parents

 

 

 

“We are losing our children. Research indicates that 70% of teens who are involved in a church youth group will stop attending church within two years of their high school graduation. Think about that statement. It addresses only teenagers who attend church and participate in the youth group. What does that suggest about those teens who may attend church but do not take part in the youth group, or who do not go to church at all?

In a talk at Southwestern Seminary Josh McDowell noted that less than 1/3 of today’s youth attend church. If he is right and 67% do not go to church and then we lose 70% of those who do, that means that within two years of finishing high school only 10% of young Americans will attend church.”

Quoted from We Are Losing Our Children
Remarks to the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee in Nashville, TN

By: T.C. Pinckney
Brig. General USAF (ret)
Second Vice President – Southern Baptist Convention
thebaptistbanner@cox.net

 Read the full article: http://www.exodusmandate.org/art_we_are_loosing_our_children.htm

 

 

 

 

 　   Have you read The Last Christian Generation, or Already Gone? These are important books for every Christian to read. They both trace what is going on with the children of America, and why they are leaving the faith/church in droves. If you can choose only one, I’d choose The Last Christian Generation; it had more info about the solutions to the problem.

      These books will open your eyes to what is going on with our youth, but they will challenge you to examine yourself: Am I really teaching my children what they need to know about the Lord? Am I truly doing all I can to make sure I set a proper example for my children? Does the way I spend my time reflect my goals?

      I am guilty of this more than I’d like to admit:　Not living my true goals; not making the main thing the main thing. So this is a personal challenge for you to be thinking about:　

 　 First of all, let’s consider our motives. What is the ultimate goal of homeschooling? What is the ultimate goal of parenting? Does your homeschool/parenting live up to that goal? Do you homeschool so that your children can get a good education/good job/go to a good college, or do you homeschool/parent with spiritual goals in mind?

　　 Does you faith affect your parenting and your homeschooling?

 

 

www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=457896

 　　 I know from experience that there are no guarantees in life. Even Godly parents can have rebellious children; we are all born with that nasty sin nature. But if we try to live out our goals, we can also live on God’s promises (Prov. 22:6, John 10:28, Isa 54:13) if our children fall into sin or temporarily turn away from the truth. But those families who do not teach their childen about the Lord have no hope, and no promises to cling to.http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=3786

　 I think it is so sad that the Lord gives us so much, and yet so many of us (even me), take it for granted, forgetting to make our relationship with God the most important part of our lives.

　 Do you put your faith in action, living what you believe? DO YOU live out your faith in front of your children? How much time do you spend in your homeschool studying the Word, praying, memorizing scripture, in ministry or in worship compared to other  “school” subjects? Are you making the main thing the main thing?

　　 Where does your heart REALLY lie?

　　 The definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting a different result. So I am re-committing myself to being sure that the Word of God is primary in our home, and in our homeschool. I want to prepare my children to stand up to the world and to discern the snares of the enemy. I want them to know what other religions believe, and know why our beliefs are different. I want them to walk in truth (3 John 1:4).　

　　 I want them to have a personal, transforming relationship with God—one that produces Godly character.　

　　 I want my children to grow up to be Christians.

　　 If you will re-commit with me, send me a reply and let me know. Let’s be accountable to each other. I will send out additional challenges from time to time.

　　 Blessings,

　　　　　　　 Susan

 

Other related articles (note: I can only endorse the page I’ve linked to; I cannot vouch for the entire content of these sites.)

 

http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4226769/k.A211/Is_This_the_Last_Christian_Generation.htm 

 

 

© 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.