Homepreschool and Beyond

*Relationship *Routine *Readiness *Reading Aloud

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    Homepreschool and Beyond will give parents the knowledge they need to find “balance” for their family. Find out what young children need to know—and how to teach it. Gain the confidence you need to relax and enjoy those precious preschool years—and beyond.

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Posts Tagged ‘Spiritual Matters’

How Do You Measure Success (In Homeschool/Homepreschool)

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on February 4, 2012


(Note: This is a previous post that I updated.)

This morning I wrote  a submission for a blog that asked the question, “what makes your home learning method unique?”  The question had three parts to it:

1) What makes your method unique—how does it differ from mainstream, curriculum-based methods?  (Using the 4R’s as the  foundation to all I do.)

2) Why did you choose this path?  (Brief answer:  Because I believe in a balanced, whole-child approach that makes the main thing the main thing–versus methods that concentrate almost exclusively on one area of child development—usually academics.)

3)  How do you measure success?

Number one and number two were self-evident and easy for me to answer.  The last question, “how do you measure success?” was way more difficult.  Here is my (final) answer:

Like most other homeschool moms, I write out yearly goals for my children,  However, the real measure of success is not as simple as a completed math program or a high test score.  Instead, I ask myself the following questions:

About Relationship:

-Am I keeping relationships at the center of our home and our homeschool/homepreschool? Do I prioritize my time to reflect the fact that relationships (with God and with family) are the main thing?!

-Are my children growing in their relationship with the Lord? (Knowledge, understanding, wisdom, character, holiness?)

-Do my children want to please God?

-Do my children hunger after God’s presence/God’s Word?

-Is our parent/child relationship strong and growing?  Do we really talk to each other (conversation–a back and forth proposition?)

-Are the relationships between siblings/extended families strong and growing?

-Do I spend time playing with my children (entering into their world?)

-Do I make the time for relationship-building activities?

About Routine:

-Is our daily routine helping our days run more smoothly?

-Has our routine helped us develop helpful habits?

-Can my children depend on the security of “what comes next?”

-Does my routine include short lessons alternated with play breaks?

-Have I included the “fun stuff” (art, music, nature walks, play, PE etc) in our plan, so they are not overlooked?

-Do my children have plenty of free time for creative play and outside play?

About Readiness:

-Am I watching my children for signs of readiness before introducing something new (interest/curiosity, developing abilities, natural/independent learning?)

-Do I decide what to teach my children strictly according to someone else’s list or timetable (scope and sequence–“what’s expected,” age-by-age), or do I let my children’s own maturity/abilities/interests guide me?

-Do I follow my children’s lead when teaching something new—keeping lessons short and fun (game-based) and stopping if my children express frustration/disinterest?  (Note: Balance this with the knowledge that as children grow older and their abilities increase, they will have to learn some things that they may not want to learn or may not be interested in.  After all, who asks to learn long division?)

About Reading Aloud: 

-Do we spend lots of time reading aloud and discussing what we read/have learned?

-Do we read a variety of different types of books aloud (depending on age:  picture books, storybooks, biographies, poetry, historical fiction, non-fiction, etc?)

-Do we have a variety of different types of books available in our home for our children to choose from/read/browse through independently?

-When I read aloud to my children, do I take my time and enjoy it, too? Do I use expression (making silly sounds and different voices/accents as appropriate) or do I speed through, just to “get it done?”  In short–do I make it special?

About Academic Goals: 

-Are my children achieving reasonable (developmentally appropriate) learning goals, bearing in mind that the abilities of normal children vary greatly from child to child?

-Am I challenging my children without pushing them?

-Do I remember that most people expect far too much of young children, and not nearly enough of older children?  Have I adjusted our expectations/learning styles/curriculum accordingly?

I could share lots of other things that I want my children to achieve—spiritual skills/knowledge, physical skills, skills related to specific learning/academic areas, life skills, etc….and as I stated, I do make yearly, detailed lists of these items for each child.  But as I thought about how I really measure success, I realized that the main measure of my success as a homeschooling mom continues to be centered around the 4R’s.  It seems to me that when the 4R’s are kept in mind, the rest falls into place naturally.  With the 4R’s as a foundation, the needs of the whole child are addressed (including academics.)

Yes, I definitely believe there is more to measuring homepreschool/homeschool success than simply measuring what our children “know” academically (ABC’s, 1, 2, 3’s, test scores, etc.)  True, test scores are important, but they aren’t “the main thing.”

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.  Matt. 6:32

Live the 4R’s!

~Susan

© 2010, 2012 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

Posted in Challenge to Parents, Family Life, Goals, Mothering, Spiritual Matters | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Goals and New Year’s Resolutions

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on January 5, 2012


Happy New Year! Can you believe it is 2012? I can’t believe how fast 2011 went. Why do the years seem to go faster the older you get?

This is the time of year when many of us reassess our lives and our homeschools, making changes and setting new goals. How are things going for you? I have to admit, I seem to be making the same type of “resolutions” the last several years…I think I have a problem!!

While I’ve been contemplating this and re-working my goals, the Lord has laid something on my heart. We always examine the goals that we think are the “big things” in our lives—the main things–and rightly so. But what about all those little things?! Sometimes those little things add up to really big things—or they are important components of the “big” things.

As always, I think about relationships first. I’ve been considering how much little time I really spend on them. We all know we can never spend enough time with the Lord (reading/studying His Word, praying, etc.) Along the same lines—I’ve also been considering how I model prayer for my kids. I want our prayer time to go way deeper than it has before. And now that my boys are getting bigger, I want to encourage them to pray more on their own, as well as practice/become more comfortable praying aloud—even in front of people outside of our family.

When it comes to my relationship with my kids: I want to be sure that I don’t live only for peace and quiet, or rules, or routines; yes, those things are important, but relationship if MORE important. So I’m asking myself if I’m taking the time to do those little things that communicate my love and availability to my kids. Am I taking the time to build our relationships? Am I doing those “little” things, like:

-Am I giving the boys plenty of (appropriate) loving touch (cuddling, hugs, ruffling hair, rubbing shoulders, patting their backs at night, etc)

-Do I really listen to them, or do I tune them out and say “uh-huh,” without really paying attention?

-Do I call to them across the house, or get up and attend to their needs? (OUCH—I’m SO guilty of this one!)

-Do I do little things to let them know that they are loved/that I’m thinking of them? Things like buying them their favorite yogurt, making their favorite meal/treat, and so on?

-Do I praise their good behavior, naming the character trait they are modeling (obedience, patience, diligence, self-control, etc?)

-Do I take the time to play with them? Play games with them? Get silly with them?

-Am I making time for the “fun stuff” in our homeschool? (We did lots of “fun stuff” over our Christmas break—I want to keep the trend going!)

I know there’s one thing I have been overlooking: Time outside—exercise—otherwise known as PE. All kids need it, but when it comes to pre-hormonal boys….well, let’s just say it becomes a necessity. No matter how I feel, I’ve got to take the time to go outside with the boys and make SURE they spend at least an hour playing hard, be it in free play or in specific skill areas. I’m thinking about putting together a PE post…would that be helpful to any of you?

Finally, I’m going to re-read my tab, “Goals for the Balanced Mom.” I know I have lots of new subscribers, so I’d like to encourage you to take the time to read it, too, if you haven’t already. It talks about those “main things” all children need, no matter their age. By keeping our goals in mind, and remembering those little things that make up our larger goals, we can break our goals into “do-able” bits that we all can accomplish.

Posted in Challenge to Parents, Encouragement, Family Life, Goals, Homepreschool, Homeschool, Homeschool Preschool, Homeschooling, Mothering, Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Matters | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Teaching Our Children About the Symbols of Christmas

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on December 7, 2011


(This is a repost that I thought should be brought to your attention.)

Christmas is my favorite time of year AND my favorite holiday.  Some families worry that Christmas has become too commercialized, and that its real meaning has been forgotten.  Even many of the traditional Christmas symbols seem faded or jaded to us.  But have you ever considered teaching your children the real meanings of our Christmas symbols?  This can help our children focus their attention where it belongs. Many of our traditional symbols offer perfect Christmas object lessons!

Many of our symbols (nativity scenes, sheep, wise men, stars, angels, etc) have obvious meanings.  Others are not so obvious, but they are just as special:

The Christmas tree is an evergreen tree—a tree that never turns brown and never loses its leaves.  This reminds us of God’s unchanging love for us.  Evergreen trees point towards heaven, reminding us to think about God.  Additionally, many pine trees’ new growth (around Easter time) is in the shape of a cross!  (School-age children will enjoy the book, The Legend of the Christmas Tree.)

Lights and candles remind us that Jesus is the light of the world, and that He wants us to be lights in the darkness, too.

Wreath:  The circle shape of the wreath reminds us that God is eternal-from everlasting to everlasting.  He has no beginning, and no end.  It also reminds us of His everlasting love.

Bells are rung in times of celebration.  Many churches around the world ring bells on Christmas to celebrate Christ’s birth.  Also, sheep wear bells so that their shepherd knows where they are at all times.  Jesus always knows where we are, what we are doing, and even what we are thinking.  We can depend on Jesus to help us when life gets hard—just as the shepherd takes care of His sheep.

Candy Canes:  Turn a candy cane upside down and you have a “J” for Jesus.  Turn the candy cane over and you have a shepherd’s hook, to remind us that Jesus is the Good Shepherd.  The red of the candy cane reminds us that Jesus shed His blood for us, and the white reminds us of Christ’s sinless life. (The book, The Legend of the Candy Cane shares this beautifully (for ages 5 +). It also states that the stripes remind us of Jesus’ suffering, and that “by his stripes we are healed.” There is also a new version of the candy cane story that is by an author I enjoy (although I haven’t seen the book): The Candymaker’s Gift: The Legend of the Candy Cane.

Doves—are traditional symbols of peace. Birds remind us to praise the Lord with song.  They also remind us that Jesus knows when even the smallest sparrow falls.  If God knows and cares for the sparrows, how much more will He care for us?!

Holly reminds us of Christ’s suffering.  The sharp leaves remind us of the crown of thorns that Jesus wore, and the red berries remind us of His shed blood.

Santa Claus:  Santa was a real man—“Saint Nicholas”, who was famous for His giving, so “Santa” is often a symbol of giving and “the spirit” of Christmas.

A personal note about Santa:  I hope you’ll think about telling your children the truth about Santa.  We choose to tell our children the truth; Santa is something fun we pretend about at Christmas time (we also tell them not to spoil the secret for any one else—learned that through experience!)  We don’t want our children to learn the truth about Santa and be crushed.  We don’t want them to wonder, “If Santa is pretend, is Jesus pretend, too?  What if my parents are lying to us about Jesus, just like they lied about Santa?”  We don’t want to place the seeds of doubt in our children’s minds.

We give gifts to remind us that the wise men gave gifts to Jesus on His birthday.

Here are some symbols we learned about in the book, The Jesus Tree: 

Jesus Tree

Christmas balls (ornaments) are round, like the world.  This reminds us that God made the world.

Snowflakes are unique; no two are alike.   No two people are alike, either.  God makes each of us are special, and He loves us all.

Christmas colors: 

Red-the blood of Jesus

Green-God’s everlasting love

Gold-was given to Jesus by the Wise Men.  It is also a symbol of Kingship or royalty.

Purple-the color of royalty.

© 2010/2011 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.  Copyrighted materials may not be re-distributed or re-posted without express permission from the author.

Posted in Family Life, Holidays, Homepreschool, Homeschool, Homeschool Preschool, Homeschooling | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Training Your Children for Christ: Steps to Effective Parenting

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on October 22, 2011


 Excerpts from “Love, Marriage, and Home”, by William Booth (founder of the Salvation 

      “There are certain things that parents must do indeed, that only parents can do if their children are to become true servants of God. I don’t want to hide the fact that what I’m setting before you will not be gained without considerable difficulty, carefulness and work. However, nothing truly good or great is ever accomplished without trouble. I am certain that for every intense hour and patient effort this work demands, parents will be abundantly repaid if they succeed.

Things Parents Should Do

     First, there are some things that must be done if you want to reach the great goal in the training of children-for them to love and serve God with a pure heart. You must keep you goal constantly before your mind. Look it in the fact and determine to accomplish it. Don’t let the seductive charms of the world or the temptations of the devil or the promptings of ease and pleasure turn you aside. Ah, Fathers and Mothers, you must make up your minds to do it or die.

Be a holy example. Create and confirm in the hearts of your children the assurance that you yourself are what you want them to become. Practice the same unselfish love and righteousness you ask of them.  Without this, you will never accomplish the goals you have set your heart on.

Teach your children what real Christianity is. Make them understand it. Make them admire it. Explain it as soon as they can take it in. Base your teaching on the principles and examples of the Bible, especially in the life and death of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the examples of His disciples, but don’t limit it to them.

You must make following Christ a part of your everyday life. Your children must feel that you are as religious at home as in the meetings, on Mondays and on Sundays, in your work as on your knees. Without always talking to them about it, your faith in God should be the atmosphere of the house, so in that atmosphere they can “live and move and have their being (Acts 17:28).”

All I can say is…wow. Convicting, isn’t it? This is the cry of my heart right now. Is it yours?

Click HERE to read Booth’s complete book on family life (note:  I have not read the other pages linked to this site, and cannot vouch for their content.)  I’m sure a little browsing online will produce more.
of Booth’s works, since they are now in public domain; not easy reading, but definitely worth the time.

I suppose if I analyize it carefully, I would have to qualify this quote with a few of my own points:

-First of all, I believe that we can’t “make” our children understand Christianity; that is the role of the Holy Spirit. But we can and should teach them about it, and do our best to live it out before them day by day.

-Because of free will, I spend alot of time talking to my boys about their choices (along with their consequences)–especially the consequences of sin (sin hurts our relationship with God; sin always hurts us; sin always hurts others. When we step out from under the protective umbrella of God’s will, we are unprotected and there will be consequences.) I also teach them how to repent–it’s more than saying “I’m sorry.” There are three steps: 1) ask God for forgiveness, 2) ask anyone we offended for forgiveness by saying, “I’m sorry I (be specific about what you did), it was (wrong, hurtful, etc), will you forgive me?”, and 3) then turn away from our sin (which often means doing the opposite.)

-I also believe that praying for our children and blessing them is vitally important to sucessful parenting. Pray with your spouse, and if you can, find a prayer partner: A close friend who will pray with you and for you and your family regularly.

~Susan

Posted in Challenge to Parents, Encouragement, Family Life, Goals, Mothering, Spiritual Matters | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Parable of the Public Poolers

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on August 9, 2011


By Jonathan Lewis

NOTE: This article was originally published in the Jul/Aug 2011 issue of Home School Enrichment Magazine and is used with (gracious) permission.

Once upon a time, in a place called America, someone had an idea. It was a bold plan—one that would alter the very social fabric of the nation. It wasn’t long before word of the idea began to spread, and many people thought it was simply marvelous. In due time, after enough support had been generated,the plan was put into action.

At first glance, the plan seemed simple enough. Its proponents said it would be fair, free, and effective for all. The plan was this: to construct government-funded public pools in every community across the land. “Every child deserves a positive swimming experience,” the plan’s proponents argued. “Only the government can truly accomplish this through our new public pool system.”

The plan had its detractors, but in the end, it went forward, and soon virtually every city and town in America had its own government-funded public pool. All the children in the community spent their days at the pool under the supervision of the state-certified lifeguards.

At first the pools seemed wholesome enough. True, there were those who said it wasn’t the government’s business to operate a pool system, but most people seemed satisfied. Things went along smoothly, and within a few generations, the government pools were entrenched in the public mind as a necessary and helpful part of society. They were as much a fixture as baseball, Mom, and apple pie.

In the course of time, however, things began to go wrong. It was observed that the pools weren’t as safe as they had once been. In fact, not only were
they not safe, they were becoming downright dangerous—even deadly. Somehow, the public pools all across the land had become infested with man-eating sharks. Children were returning home scarred and maimed. Many were even being devoured alive.

It was at this point that a handful of parents across the nation became alarmed. They decided not to send their children away to the shark-infested public pools any longer. Instead, they would keep their children at home and supervise them in their own pools. In time, this new movement came to be known as homepooling.

In days gone by, homepooling had been common practice in America. But with the introduction of the government pool system, homepooling had become increasingly rare. It may seem shocking, but homepooling had even been outlawed in some states! Certainly America had wandered far from her ideals of freedom and liberty when parents were no longer able to direct their own children’s pooling.

The pioneers of homepooling were greeted with much skepticism. Most parents were complacent, content to ignore the safety hazards of the public pools. In the meantime, conditions continued to worsen, with more and more children being devoured by the sharks. Statistics reported that up to 85% of the children who went swimming at the public pool were being injured or eaten alive.

As a result, the new homepooling movement began to grow. And it was observed that not only were homepooled children surviving, they were thriving. Researchers began to take notice, and it was discovered that homepoolers performed far above their public-pooled peers on standardized swimming tests. Homepooling was beginning to be vindicated as a valid option.

In an average community in America lived a woman named Mary. She and her husband had both been raised in the public pool system, though it wasn’t as bad when they were growing up as it was today. Now, Mary herself was a young mother of three children whom she was accustomed to sending to the public pool. Every morning she would get her children out of bed, feed them a hasty breakfast, then rush them out the door to catch the pool bus. All her neighbors did the same thing. It was just how life in America worked. Then one day, she met a homepooling family at her church. She was impressed! The children were polite, respectful, and were all excellent swimmers. Mary had heard of homepooling, but had never met a family that actually did it. She realized she needed to give the matter some attention.

One day, as she was researching homepooling, her 8-year-old son arrived home on the pool bus. As she saw him limping into the house, Mary knew something was wrong. Upon inspection, she noticed he had deep wounds on his legs—a narrow escape from a shark. That settled it for Mary and her husband. They notified the public pool superintendent that their children would no longer be coming to the pool—they were going to begin homepooling right away.

It wasn’t long before Mary became a staunch advocate of homepooling. She loved having her children at home with her. She was glad that she no longer had to fear the constant menace of the sharks at the public pool. Her children were safe at home where they belonged.

With all the blessings homepooling had brought into her family’s life, Mary expected all her friends to be excited about it too. She was sure they would
begin homepooling when she told them how wonderful it was. But instead of excitement, she was greeted with indifference by many, and even with hostility by some.

One friend at church told her, “You’re overprotecting your kids. How are they going to handle the sharks out in the adult world if they don’t learn how
to deal with them now?”

Another responded with a more spiritual sounding argument. “My kids are being salt and light out in the public pools. If all the Christians
pull their kids out of the pools, who will reach the other kids?”

Mary didn’t think that argument made very much sense. If her kids were being eaten alive, they certainly weren’t going to be reaching many others.

Yet another mom told her, “The pools in our town aren’t like the pools in the bigger cities. They have sharks and stingrays and alligators there. Ours
aren’t like that. We have a great pool system here.”

Mary soon discovered that very few people were willing to admit that the local pools had problems. “We have an above-average lifeguard-to-swimmer
ratio,” another church friend said. “Plus, some of the lifeguards are even Christians.”

Great, Mary thought to herself. They can pray for your kids while they’re getting eaten up by the sharks.

As she tried to spread the word about homepooling, Mary was astonished at the indifference she saw all around her. Children were being maimed, injured, and even killed every day, yet so many seemed unconcerned. As she continued talking to others, Mary couldn’t believe the excuses people were using. If it had been a spiritual issue instead of mere physical safety, she was sure they wouldn’t use these same arguments. After all, if the public pools had been harming children spiritually—if they were causing kids to walk away from their faith, leave church behind, or rebel against their parents—surely they would see the significance and would begin homepooling. As it was, too many parents were ignoring the issue altogether. After all, it was just a matter of their kids’ physical well-being, and apparently that was easy for many parents to ignore.

“Look,” one friend said, “if I wanted to start homepooling, I’d have to quit my job, and you know we can’t get by on just one income. It isn’t practical in the modern world. Maybe homepooling worked back in the pioneer days, but it just won’t work now—not for us.”

Mary was startled that her friend would put finances above her children’s safety. After all, this other family wasn’t destitute. They had a reasonably nice home, two cars, and plenty of extras such as cable TV, a couple of cell phones, Internet hookup, and more. Wouldn’t it have been worth sacrificing part of their lifestyle to protect their kids?

One friend was bluntly honest. “Oh,” she said, “I just wouldn’t have the patience to homepool my kids! I think it’s great that you can do it, but it just wouldn’t work for me. I’d probably kill them the first day,” she laughed.

Never mind what the sharks are probably doing, Mary thought to herself.

She was surprised at how many people were worried about socialization. “How will my kids have friends if I homepool them? I don’t want them to be social misfits,” explained one.

“Homepooling doesn’t mean your kids won’t have friends,” Mary answered. “It just means you can have more control over who your kids are with. Plus,” she added, “you won’t have to worry about all the sharks and other problems that are in the public pool.”

“That’s just like you homepoolers,” her friend retorted. “You’ve got such a ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude. You think everyone should homepool, and you have to start criticizing the public pool every chance you get. I think I know what’s best for my kids.”

Mary didn’t see how close encounters with sharks every day could be best for any kids, but she knew better than to try to reason with her friend now.

Others were concerned about their kids missing out on the opportunities afforded by the government pool system. “My son really loves the diving board at the public pool,” Mary’s neighbor said. “I couldn’t provide that for him at home.”

Others were afraid of teaching advanced swimming techniques. “I never did very well at swimming myself,” one friend confessed. “I just don’t think I could teach my daughter some of the advanced things she wants to learn.”

Mary could relate to this one. She still felt a little intimidated sometimes too. But she knew there were answers. “There’s lots of great curriculum out there that will help you—books and DVDs and all kinds of things. Lots of other people are doing it, so I’m sure you can too!”

Her friend wasn’t convinced. “Well, maybe. I don’t know. We’ll see how things go.”

As she looked around, Mary was saddened. How could her friends not realize that their kids were more important than their careers, social standing, personal free time, and all the other things that prevented them from homepooling?

Time went by. Her friends at church had been insisting for years that their kids would be fine in the public pool system. But now that the kids were getting older, they didn’t look like they were doing well. Lots of them had already become casualties of the sharks and had disappeared from the church pews. Many others walked with a limp from injuries sustained in close encounters. “It’s just a phase,” some said. “All teenagers go through this. There’s nothing we can do. We just have to believe that everything will work out fine in the end.”

“It’s tough to raise kids in today’s world,” others said. “There’s only so much you can do.”

You could have done something years ago, Mary thought. You could have done something before the sharks got to your kids.

But if Mary was grieved by those who rejected homepooling altogether, she was even more grieved by the behavior of some homepoolers. She couldn’t believe it, but some of her homepooling friends were actually putting sharks right in their own backyard pools. “We can’t get by with this,” Mary protested. “Our kids aren’t immune to injury just because we’re homepooling! We can’t bring the same influences that are out in the public pools into our homepools and expect everything to be fine. A shark is a shark. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the public pool or in the homepool—it’s still going to hurt your kids!”

Some who had begun well decided to quit homepooling and started sending their kids back to the public pool. They seemed to have forgotten why they started homepooling in the first place. Mary couldn’t understand it. She knew she was going to keep homepooling all the way through to the finish.

Mary saw the cost of sending her kids back to the public pool. Yes, there were times when homepooling was difficult and taxed her patience. But what was that compared to the heartbreak of seeing her children come home from the public pool with ugly wounds and scars—or worse, perhaps seeing the day when they wouldn’t come home at all? Yes, there were times she wished she could go back to her old job, make more money, and have a more luxurious lifestyle. But what were the luxuries of this life worth in comparison to the blessing of knowing her kids were safe and happy at home?

Mary knew she was unnoticed by the world. She knew she might forever miss out on the acclaim and praise of man. She knew she would probably never achieve success as our world defines it. Many said she was wasting her life. But Mary didn’t care. How could she? Wasn’t it worth any sacrifice to raise her children for the glory of God? Wasn’t it worth any cost to see them reach adulthood whole, happy, and vibrant? Yes. A thousand times yes.

Jonathan Lewis, 28, is a homeschool graduate, and glad of it! Together with his parents and older brother, he helped start Home School Enrichment Magazine in late 2002, and currently serves as Editor. As a passionate advocate of home education, he writes and speaks from his perspective as a graduate, encouraging parents that homeschooling really does work! If you would be interested in having him speak to your group (or to contact him for any other reason), drop him a note at jonathan @ homeschoolenrichment.com

Posted in Challenge to Parents, Deciding to Homeschool or Hompreschool, Encouragement, Homeschooling, Parenting, Spiritual Matters, Thinking About Homeschooling? | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Mother’s Day Smiles/Resources for Moms

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on May 9, 2011


          

        Happy Mother’s Day!  Have you ever noticed how God makes something beautiful out of our difficult situations?  He did that for me today…you see, for the past eight years, Mother’s Day has been melancholy for me; it makes me miss my mom all the more (she passed away from cancer). PLUS, my husband had to work today, and two of my children were sick (some type of flu? I sure hope #3 doesn’t end up sick tomorrow!) and so we had to stay home from church.

        But even on days like today, the Lord offers us encouragement. Just like the flowers growing alongside the road, God can turn something that is unusually stark and ugly into something beautiful. Here is what made my day beautiful today…

        This is a poem that my 10-year-old made up for me: “Mom, I love you all the time, I love you when you are happy, I love you when you are sad, I love you all the day and night. Thank-you for teaching me, being the best mom in the world; Everyday, every-night, you are the best, Clean out of sight.” So sweet, huh?

        More encouragement via the television: As I said, I didn’t get to go to church today, but I did get to watch a great sermon on raising children by Dr. Charles Stanley. If you’ve never listened to him before, you’re in for a treat.

        I was encouraged that he emphasized a lot of the same things I do, such as building relationships (spending time) and conversations (he especially talks about listening). He also shares that we should discipline our children based on the desire to protect them (protecting our children is a good thing, contrary to popular belief.) He said that our society and our educational system (public schools) are ENEMIES to our children.

        He lists eleven things we should teach our children–and best of all, he mentioned a couple of “catch phrases” to add to my repertoire.  Here are a few of my favorite points:

-Spending time with our children is an investment in their eternity.

-Teach your children that the most important thing in their lives is their personal relationship with God. (Make the main thing the main thing!)

-Teach them to be in the Word.

-Teach them to “Obey God, and leave the consequences to Him.”

-Teach your children that they are accountable to God.

-Teach them that God has a plan for their life.

-Catch phrase: “Look your best, do your best, be your best.”

        You can watch the video of the entire message and download notes HERE. It’s worth the time. 

        Another treat for you: Ann Voscamp of A Holy Experience posted 3 Guideposts that can Radically Change Parenting (printables). 

        Finally, perhaps you are feeling down today, too.  Perhaps you are missing your mother, like I am, or perhaps your children are difficult to handle, your nerves are on edge, and you’ve started to wonder if deliberate, Christian parenting is worth the effort.  Maybe you’ve been having health problems or problems of some other kind, and you wonder if homeschooling is worth all the time and effort. If this describes you,  I hope you’ll remember with me that Galatians 6:9 says “Let us not become in weary doing good, for at the proper time we will reap the harvest if we do not give up.”   And do you remember the words to this old hymn? “Something beautiful. Something good. All my confusion, He understood. All I had to offer Him is broken-ness and strife–but He made something…beautiful…of my life.” 

        Thank-goodness “God uses broken pots.” All of us are broken in one way or another. Some of us might feel close to giving up. But God can make something beautiful out of our struggles. Our weakness highlights His strength, and encourages us (and others.)

        If you are struggling, comment on this post and I will pray for you (or, better yet, we can pray for each other!) Hang in there, stay in the Word, and keep on doing what God has called you to do. He promises that we will reap the harvest if we don’t give up. 

    O.K., O.K., so this isn’t the rules to double solitaire…they are coming soon, don’t worry!  ~Susan

© 2011 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.  Copyrighted materials may not be re-distributed or re-posted without express permission from the author.

Posted in Challenge to Parents, Discipline, Encouragement, Family Life, Mothering, Parenting, Relationships, Spiritual Matters | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

New Year’s Resolutions/Planning for a New Homeschool Year

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on December 31, 2010


         Sorry I haven’t posted for so long; I’ve been busy enjoying the season with my children.  We had a wonderful Christmas, and hope that you did, too!  This is the first year that my daughter has had her own money to spend, and she really enjoyed spoiling us all—especially me.

       I really can’t believe that Christmas is over, and that it’s time to start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions/our plans for a new year of homeschooling.  Do you re-examine your school plan this time of year, while you are thinking about your other resolutions?  Your family life?  Your spiritual life?  We do.  Below are some of the questions I have been considering. 

     Let me make it clear:  I am not posting this list so that I can beat you over the head with it.  Rather, I am beating myself over the head with quite a few of the questions.  I do hope some of them will make you think….they sure make me think!!  I believe that every Mom can think of several areas that need attention/improvement. 

Philippians 3:12-14 says, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  (NIV)

     Here are the questions I’ve been asking myself:

-Am I walking in the Spirit, or in the flesh?  This question is top of my list, because I think it is the most important (along with examining our relationships—see below.)  I think this question is at the heart of everything that happens in our home. 

     Our Pastor has started a series entitled, “Living in the Covenant in the New Year” and it has already been a blessing to me.  I appreciated it so much because Pastor explained our new life in Christ versus “the old man” in a way that even my boys could understand.  (I’ve been trying to explain it to them for years!)

      I hope you’ll take the time to listen to the message linked above.  Also, consider reading the book, “Practicing the Presence of God”, by Brother Lawrence.  You can read it online for FREE.  It is life-changing…living a perpetual prayer life. 

     Here are the rest of my questions I’m asking myself:

-Am I spending enough time in the Word? 

-Am I spending enough time in prayer?  Specifically, am I praying for my children enough?  Am I consistently praying for their future spouses, as well?

-Am I speaking (AND thinking) blessings over my children, or curses?  When my children come to tell me something, do I act as if they are merely an interruption, or do I listen with care and respect (in other words, do my actions communicate to my children that they are a blessing?)

-Also, what do my children think of themselves?  What do they say about themselves?  I want to be aware of this since our perceptions become our reality…we can “curse” ourselves (as well as our children) with negative self-fulfilling prophecies (“You’re so stubborn”…”Why are you having such a tough time with this?”, <child> “I can’t read!” VERSUS “You are very determined, and you have lots of stick-to-itiveness,” “You’re so clever…I know you can do this!” or  <child> “I can read!  I know I can do it!”)

-Do I control my tongue?  Am I teaching my children to control theirs?

-Am I teaching my children the importance of controlling their thoughts?

-How is my mothering?  Am I doing the things I know I need to do for/with my children mentally/physically/spiritually?  What about discipline-wise? 

-Has my attitude been what it should be?  Do I set a good example to my children?  How are my children’s attitudes doing?  Towards discipline?  Towards school?  How can I help them improve and grow?

-How is my tone of voice?  Am I gentle with my children?  Compassionate?

-Is there enough follow-thru to provide accountability when it comes to obedience, attitude, chores, school, etc?  (This is one I really need to work on—as well as total consistency.)

-How is the culture of our home?  Have I become lax in regards to what I let my children watch on TV—or how long I let them watch? (Yes.)   Have I become lax with our computer rules? 

-What is the character of our home?  Is there peace in our home? 

-What is working/not working for us school-wise?  This is a good time of year to revisit your curriculum and make changes as necessary.

-Is my home conducive to learning?  Are art supplies easily at hand?  Are there lots of different types of books available for my children to choose from freely?  Is my “school area” organized and ready to go?  (In other words, is our home an enriching environment?)

-Am I providing enough creative play/outside play time for my children?

-Am I planning time for the “fun stuff”–and getting it done?  (Not nearly enough!)

     And, of course, most importantly, I ask myself about the 4R’s:

 -Relationships:  How are our family’s relationships with God going?  What is our spiritual temperature?  Are we sick, or healthy?   Are we, as a family and as individuals, growing in the Lord?  What do we need to change?  Are we putting off the “old man”, and becoming new creatures? 

     Am I taking the time I need to grow relationships within our family?  Am I teaching/helping my children grow their relationships with others in the family?  Am I making time to play with my children? Do we laugh together, play games together, etc (do we take time for relationship builders?) 

     Do I provide each child with enough cuddle time?  What about hugs/affectionate touch throughout the day (ruffling the hair, rubbing the shoulders, etc) to communicate my love to them?  

    Here is a Spiritual Growth Assessment from Lifeway that might be helpful to you.   

-Routines:  How are our routines working?  Do we need to make any changes, or simply work on being more consistent?  How well am I managing my time?  Am I teaching my children to manage theirs?

 –Readiness:  What are we doing too much of/not enough of?  Are there subjects/areas where we are falling short—areas where the curriculum needs to be beefed up?  (Am I providing the learning activities/opportunities that my children are ready for?)

     Alternately, am I trying to do too much?  Am I pushing my children too hard?  Am I frustrating myself and my children with inappropriate expectations?  Remember that with young children, it is important to wait for signs of ability, interest, and spontaneous learning before trying to instruct our children in academic subjects.  If you have a preschooler, remind yourself that you don’t have to work your child to death getting him “ready for Kindergarten.”  Instead, you can make your homeschool ready for your Kindergartener. 

      If you have a Kindergartener, give him a relaxed, traditional Kindergarten experience and ease into seatwork/the 3R’s only as they are ready (and never forget how much they learn through real life, hands-on experiences, conversation, and through being read to!)

-Reading aloud:  Am I spending enough time reading aloud to my children—no matter their age?  We need to continue building up our read aloud time.  One goal I have set for myself is getting my boys ready for bed earlier, so that we have more time to read before bedtime.  We are in the middle of two series:  My husband and I are taking turns reading Hank the Cowdog to the boys, and my daughter has just started reading the Chronicles of Narnia to them (this is in addition to the reading we do for homeschool.)

     All these questions boil down to three main questions:  1) Am I walking in the Spirit (and receiving His power to help me do what I know I should do),  2) Am I a balanced Mom?,  and  3) Am I making the main thing the main thing–in my personal life and my home life?

     I will prayerfully consider each of these questions over the next couple of days, and write out some goals in response to them.  What about you?  What questions have you been asking yourself?  Are you making any New Year resolutions this year?

~Blessings,

           Susan

© 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.  Copyrighted materials may not be re-distributed or re-posted without express permission from the author.

Posted in Challenge to Parents, Elementary School, Encouragement, Family Life, Goals, Homepreschool, Homeschooling, Mothering, Parenting, Spiritual Matters, The 4 R's, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Generations Radio Interview

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on October 22, 2010


      Ever wonder what I sound like?  I’m sure it won’t be what you imagine.  But if you’d like to know, you can listen to me on Generations Radio

    I was blessed to be interviewed this week by Kevin Swanson, a Pastor, author, leader in the homeschool community, and a homeschooling dad. 

    We talk about my book, the advantages of homepreschool versus institutional preschool, building relationships, the importance of conversation, music, and lots more.  You can listen HERE.

     Live the 4R’s!

                     ~Susan

Posted in Homepreschool, Homepreschool and Beyond, Homeschool, Homeschool Preschool, Kindergarten Readiness, Mothering, Music, Parenting, Picture Books, Play, preschool at home, Radio Interviews, Readiness, Reading Aloud, Susan Lemons, Teaching Reading | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Curriculum Planning, 2010-2011 (part one)

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on July 27, 2010


     I can’t get over it…the 2010-2011 school year!  How can that be?!   Anyway, I’ve been working on our curriculum plans for the fall.  Next year will be my daughter’s senior year, and the boys will be in the second and fourth grades.  After this year, I’ll only have two children left to teach!  Unbelievable!

   I’m only going to post detailed plans for my littles.  If you want information about our high school curriculum, visit the “Our Curriculum” tab over the next few days to see what we’ll be using (I’ll post it soon.)

     The resources below are really just the tip of the iceberg for us…we’re going to use a plethora of “real” or “living” books this year!  Because this post is so long, I’m going to split it up into two installments.

Here are my choices for this fall:

Bible:  We are going to concentrate on character traits and learning to please God this year.  I decided to use a combination of resources including Character First (series one),  Pleasing God,  and the Word of God (I haven’t seen these, but the content looks like exactly what we need—we will do them orally).  We will also continue to read Vos’ Bible Story Book, and of course, the Word itself. 

      I have several goals for Bible memory work this year:  1) to continue memorizing Bible verses, including “cementing” the 23rd Psalm and our other previous work (goal: memorize at least 10 more verses and one longer section); 2) finish memorizing the Lord’s Prayer; 3) memorize the books of the Bible, and 4) begin sword drills.

Language arts:  My main goals for this year for both boys are to 1) wrap up all phonics (if possible; my second grader might need a little more time), 2) help the boys become fluent, expressive and confident readers; 3) help them continue to develop neat handwriting and handwriting speed; 4) do longer copywork, and 5) work on narration skills (oral composition) and composition.  For curriculum we will use:

~Phonics, spelling & handwriting: Sing, Spell, Read and Write (I will post about how I use this in a later post) and Explode the Code 

~Other language arts: Daily Grams (done orally–this is a good compromise between heavy duty grammar and delayed former grammar–for more on this issue, read THIS article);  portions of Queen’s Language Arts

 Math:  Our goals for math this year will focus on mastering the math facts (addition and subraction for my 2nd grader, multiplication for my 4th grader.)  I hope to add some fun computer games/card games etc to make this more fun.  The curriculums we will be using are:

Teaching Textbooks  (oldest)

Rod and Staff (youngest.)  Note: We add our own manipulatives, as needed.

     I’ll post our curriculum for unit studies (history, geography, and science), art, and music in my next post.

 © 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

Posted in Character Traits, Curriculum, Elementary School, Goals, Homeschool | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

Josh’s Remember Mind (Remembering What’s Important; Notebooking)

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on July 18, 2010


      NOTE:  This was originally posted two years ago on my old blog, which was a part of  Homeschool Enrichment Magazine’s website during the time I was their “Early Learning Columnist.”  I thought it was worth reviving…with some changes.

     My seven year old son Joshua has a very unique mind.  He calls it his “remember mind”.   He says that when he really wants to remember something, he puts it in his remember mind.   Once it is there, he will never forget it.  He also has a “un-remember mind”–sort of like a big garbage bin where he permanently dumps things he doesn’t need to remember (or doesn’t want to). 

     If only his “remember mind’ was for real, and not just a figment of his over-active imagination.  If only we could have remember minds, too!   But we can’t even seem to remember the things that are most important to us–such as why we chose to homeschool, what the most important parts of our home life and homeschool truly are, and how greatly the Lord has blessed us.  Day to day life crowds out so many things we should bear in mind everyday—every hour.

     Having a “un-remember mind” would be just as helpful.  By utilizing our “UN-remember” minds, we could live a more joyous life.  We could forget to worry about our constant doubts and questions such as “will our children have gaps?” or “am I doing enough?” or “how can I possibly get it all done?”  Instead, we could concentrate on the here and now—just doing the next thing that needs to be done, and keeping the main thing the main thing. (Forgetting our failures? I suppose that would be too much to ask for…after all, we learn so much through those difficult experiences.) 

     Even though I’ve been a Christian since early childhood, married for 24 years, a mom for twenty years, and a homeschooling mom for 14 years, I still have been unable to train my mind to work like a “remember mind” should.  I often forget the most important things, and worry too much about the things I should forget about.  You’d think I’d have home life and homeschooling down pat by now, but I don’t.  I need a remember mind…and a “un-remember mind”…and I need them fast!

Notes to Help with Your “Remember Mind”:  

     There are things we can do to develop our “remember minds”.  It’s a good idea to start a special notebook (or two) to act as our “remember minds” (Cindy Rushton calls hers a “brain in a binder.”)  Here are some ideas for your notebooks, taken from mine: 

*Write down the reasons you have chosen to homeschool. That way, when you have a difficult day (or week, or month), you can look back on your reasons and be encouraged.

*Write down some short and long term goals for your family. Start with spiritual and character goals. That way, when you get discouraged, you can review your goals.  Usually you’ll find that you are meeting your most important goals.

*Make your own Bible notebook.  I use mine to record important sermon notes, notes from Bible studies, Bible verses that are special to me, encouraging quotes and sayings, and so on.  You can make one for your children, too (ages 9+).

*Make your own prayer notebook.  In it, record who you are praying for, when you started praying for them, and answers received.

*Make a household notebook.  Write down your housekeeping routines, important phone numbers, menu plans, etc.  To get you started, investigate flylady.net.  You can find her notebook suggestions HERE (she calls hers a “control journal.”) You can also find great pages for your control journal/school planning journal at Donna Young’s site.

Wonderful links for journaling/notebooking for moms:

Setting up your Bible journal, from a Holy Experience

Journaling as a spiritual discipline, also from A Holy Experience

 Bible notebooks for children:

Young children can include coloring pages and Bible copywork; older children can use their notebooks very much as adults would.

Great ideas from Squidoo 

Bible Scribe— (to purchase); kids draw and write on these pre-made Bible notebook pages  

More Notebooking pages to buy (or just glean ideas from)

Calvary Bible Coloring pages:  A page to color for every major story in the Bible

Ignite the Fire:  Lists single sentence summaries or titles for each book of the Bible—awesome for children and adults.

For the Inspired Mom:  Tons of links and ideas for making your own “brain in a binder” that will help you organize your homeschool, your home, your goals, and your life. 

    Use these tools to help you make the main thing the main thing!

                        ~Susan

 © 2008, 2009, 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

Posted in Encouragement, Goals, Homepreschool, Homeschool | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Character Catechism: Obedience, Honor, and Self-Control

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on April 28, 2010


         Many Christian parents believe it is important to use some sort of catechism to systematically teach their children about God.  But I wonder…how many of them have ever considered the importance of learning a “character catechism?”  I’ve been thinking about it for some time now.  During our Bible time, we practice our catechism and our memory verses (we use Bob Jones curriculum’s catechism.)  I’ve started to write a “character catechism” to go with it.  Some of it I’ve gleaned from the wisdom of others, and some of it I’ve put together myself.    Here is an example I gleaned from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…In You and Your Kids,  by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller:

1.  Obedience

Q.  What is Obedience?

A. Obedience means doing what you are told, right away, with a good attitude, without being reminded.

Q.  How do we obey? 

A.  Everyday, all the way, in a quick and cheerful way.  (Tip from the book: Instead of allowing children to argue, tell them to “obey first” and then you’ll discuss it.  Usually once they’ve obeyed, they won’t need to talk about it anymore.)

 2.  Honor: 

Q.  The Bible says to “honor your father and mother.”  What is honor?

A.  Honor means:

  ~ Treating others as special

  ~ Doing more than what is expected

  ~ Having a good attitude.

  You can show others honor when:

  ~ You’re told to do something.

  ~ You’re told, “No”

  ~When someone dishonors you.

 Bible Verses About Obedience & Honor:

  Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.  “Honor your Father and Mother,” (which is the first commandment with a promise): “that it may be well with you, and that you may receive long life on earth.”  Ephesians 6:1-3 (NKJ)

 Children, obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord.  Colossians 3:20 (NKJ)

         I put these definitions in with our memory verse cards and we use them in the traditional “catechism” style; I ask the question, the children answer (we answer together till they learn it.) 

         It’s easy to make up your own character catechism for other character traits you are emphasizing/studying.  First you need to decide on a trait that’s important to you, and then find a good definition.  You can look for definitions in Webster’s 1828 Dictionary or on websites such as Heart of Wisdom.  The best online sources I’ve found is the Character Journal and Lifestyle Homeschool.  Once you find a definition you like, re-word it so that it is simple enough for your children to understand.  This completes the “what” part of the question—i.e. “What is self-control?” Answer: “Self-control means…” Next, brain-storm the “how”:  How do we show self-control? Be specific, and use examples that your children will relate to.  Finally, do a topical/keyword search on Bible Gateway   to look up Bible verses on self-control.  Here is my “catechism” for self-control:

 Q.  What is self-control?

A.   Self-control means controlling my thoughts, attitudes and actions.  Self-control means doing what is right even when I don’t want to.  For older children/adults: Self-control means that “I consider a later benefit more important than my present impulse” (this definition is so convicting!  I found it in another book by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, Good and Angry.  It’s is my current read and I’m loving it.)

Q.  How can I show self-control?

A.  I show self-control when I do what I’m supposed to do quickly and cheerfully even when I don’t want to.  I use self-control when I do not let others “make” me get angry (anger is a choice.)  I have opportunities to use self-control when:

~I don’t get my way.

~I have to wait for what I want/I can’t have what I want.

~When someone is annoying me.

~When I’m told to do something I don’t want to do.

~When I want to say something mean or sassy.

~When I’m tired, hungry, grumpy, or not feeling well.

 Bible verses about self-control:  Galatians 5:23  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience (longsuffering), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Against such things there is no law.

1 Thessalonians 5:6b …Let us be alert and self-controlled.  (NIV)

 For older kids, memorize 1 Peter 5:8: Be self-controlled and alert.  You enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.   ~and~

 Proverbs 25:28 Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.  (NIV) (Explain to your kids that in Bible times, cities had walls around them to keep our wild animals and enemies.  If we don’t have self-control, we are like a city with no walls; bad things can come to us.)

          If you can, think of a hymn or Sunday school song (that your children can understand) that applies to what you are learning.   Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam applies to obedience, honor, and self-control.  For self-control, also sing  Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes What You See (other verses:  Oh, be careful little hands what you do; oh, be careful little feet where you go; ears what you hear; lips what you say; mind what you think.)

          Other resources you might want to explore to help you develop your own character catechism: 

Character First! Curriculum (ages 6-7+)

A Child’s Book About…(Being Lazy, Being Mean, Disobeying, Interrupting, Throwing Tantrums, etc-many other titles), a “Help Me Be Good Book”, by Joy Berry.  (Not from a Christian perspective, but very good. I don’t understand why they got such mixed reviews.  I have found them to be very helpful.)

Richard Scarry’s Please and Thank-You Book, by Richard Scarry, which contains the story of Pig Will and Pig Won’t, a little pig who learns to be cheerful, cooperative, and helpful around the house. (Obedience/self-control.) 

 What Do You Do, Dear/What Do You Say, Dear? , by  Sesyle Joslin and Maurice Sendak  (Manners=self-control!)

What Would Jesus Do? Charles M. Sheldon’s Classic In His Steps now retold for children, by Mack Thomas (5+)

My Favorite Resources for Adult Reference:

Building Christian Character:  Developing Christ-Like Qualities in our Personal Lives,  by John Regier (used to be available from Biblical Concepts in Counseling; appears to be out of print.) 

Creative Correction:  Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline,  Lisa Whelchel

 Don’t Make me Count to Three, by Ginger Plowman

 Laying Down the Rails: A Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook, by Sonja Shafer

This post contains excerpts from the book,Homepreschool and Beyond”; used with permission.  © 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

Posted in Character Traits, Curriculum, Discipline, Family Rules, Holiness, Parenting, Spiritual Matters, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Family Rules For Preschoolers and Grade-Schoolers

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on April 18, 2010


        Does your family have clear rules about behavior?  Do your children know what the rules are?  Do they understand the consequences for disobedience?  (Are there consequences?)              

         Preschoolers are constantly learning about (and testing) the rules.  It’s hard for them to remember very many rules at first, so your rules should be simple–something along these lines:

1.  We love and obey the Lord Jesus Christ with all our hearts.  (This covers so much–lying, stealing, etc–God’s rules.  If your child has a tendancy towards a specific sin I’d list it separately, as I did below.)

2.  We obey Mommy and Daddy quickly and cheerfully.  We also obey other authorities in our lives (Grandma and Grandpa,  Sunday School teachers, etc.)   

3.  We treat others the way we want to be treated (the Golden Rule).

4.  We take care of our toys, and pick up cheerfully.

5.  We eat what is given to us without complaining.

6.  We don’t whine, complain, or “pitch fits.”

       The consequences you choose should matter to your children.   They shouldn’t be harsh, but they should be something they want to avoid.  Each family has to choose what works best for them…but whatever the consequences are, your children should be aware of them before the fact.  It’s not fair to punish a child for something that s/he doesn’t know is wrong.  When your preschoolers are still learning the rules you will probably have to give them “two strikes”; one time to remind them/tell them about the rules (a warning); repeat offenders earn the consequence.

      Recently I’ve re-vamped our family rules to reflect my children’s ages and the issues we’ve been trying to correct.  Remember that my youngest are now 7 and 9.  Now that my boys are getting older, we can add more rules and make them specific so that my boys don’t have any excuses.  I’ve been reading the rules to the boys almost everyday, and choosing one to discuss in greater detail.  This also gives us a chance to discuss the positive character traits we use when we follow our family rules.

House Rules About Behavior:  (Our adaptation of The Clarkson’s book, Our 24 Family Ways)

 1.  We love and obey the Lord Jesus Christ with all our hearts, remembering that this means choosing to put Him on the throne of our hearts (making Him the boss.)

 2.  We obey Mom, Dad and other authorities quickly and cheerfully (Pastor, piano teacher, coach, relatives, big sister) with a cheerful “Yes, Mom”, or “Yes, Sir,” etc.

 3.  We listen to correction and accept discipline with a submissive spirit.  We repent of our wrongs:  We are sorry; we ask forgiveness; we change our behavior.

 4.  When someone apologizes to us and asks for forgiveness, we forgive them.  We do not hold grudges or withhold our love; we do not return evil for evil.

 5.  We do not whine or argue.  We do not roll our eyes, fall or slouch down, sigh or complain.  This shows anger, disrespect and disobedience.  (Do all things w/o arguing and complaining…Phil. 2:14)

 6.  We accept NO as NO and drop the subject.

 7.  We choose to do what is right, no matter what other people do or say.

 8.  Our goal is to show the fruit of the spirit in all we say and do.  We choose to have good attitudes, living out love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control. 

 9.  We are considerate of others, using good manners.  We don’t talk with food in our mouths, burp, etc; and we don’t think those things are funny.  We are gracious to everyone, even if we don’t feel like it.

 10. We come the first time we are called.  We drop whatever we are doing and obey right away.

 11.  We tell the truth the first time we are asked.

 12.  We do not yell or otherwise show our anger towards others. We choose not to let anger control us.

 13.  We treat others with HONOR and RESPECT.  We listen carefully to others, stopping what we are doing and making eye contact.  We are CAREFUL not to hurt others in word or deed, treating others the way we want to be treated (Golden Rule.)  We do not bully, pester or annoy others.  (Others first, self last; give more, take less.)

 14.  We do not interrupt others, especially when they are on the phone, or when grown-ups are talking to other grown-ups.

 15. We listen to instruction respectfully, remembering that we do not know more than our elders (listen and learn.)  We are teachable, not proud.

 16.   The older protects the younger.  The older remembers his example to the younger.

 17.  We do not sneak or STEAL food.

 18.  We eat what we are given cheerfully, with a thankful heart.

 19.  We obey the schedule and chore chart; we DO NOT SHIRK.  (YOU WILL BE FOUND OUT.)    Be diligent with your schoolwork and your chores, working as unto the LORD. 

20.   If we don’t know what to do, we ask.

 21.  We understand that our actions have consequences.  When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence.  Good behavior reaps rewards.  Naughty behavior reaps consequences. We don’t blame others for the consequences we deserve.   

 22.  We remember that God sees all and knows all—even our hearts.

 23.  When we are not at home, we obey the same rules we do when we are at home. 

 Rules Concerning Our Home and Possessions: 

1.  We take care of what we have, using it wisely and responsibly. 

2.  Play with one thing at a time. When you are finished playing with a toy, put it away BEFORE you get something new out. (Toys that “go together” are excluded.)

3.  We do not go into another person’s room without being invited. 

4.  We do not get things out without permission (from the t0y closet, art hutch, etc.)

5. If you get it out, put it away.  If you open it, close it.   If you turn it on, turn it off.  If you make a mess, clean it up. (If you need help, ask for it!)

6. We care for our possessions and our house carefully.  We close doors, drawers, etc carefully, and we don’t hit or bang the walls or furniture with our bodies or our toys.  We are not destructive.

7. We do not make unnecessary work for others.  We take initiative to clean up after ourselves, leaving each room we’ve entered looking better than it did before.  (A place for everything, and everything in its place.)

8. We do not HIDE our messes.

9. We do not touch or play with other people’s possessions unless we have permission first.  We do not borrow from others without permission.  We do not look through someone else’s drawers or closets without permission (we aren’t snoops.)

10. Put your laundry in the correct hamper right when you take it off; no socks or dirty clothes may be thrown on the floor. 

11. Hang up your wet towels, and re-use them at least 2-3x’s. 

12.  THINK about what you do (wipe your feet, keep dirty hands off things, etc); LOOK around carefully and learn to SEE your mess.   

13.  No toys are to be left outside at night. 

14.  Keep your shoes in your closet (not on the floor) and then you’ll always know where they are. 

15.  No papers, pencils, crayons, or garbage left on the table or floor. 

16.  Ten minute pick up at 11 AM and 4 PM.

 17.  Remember that if you mistreat your possessions or are irresponsible with them, mom and dad will not replace them.

18.   When we are not at home, we obey the same rules we do when we are at home.

       These are our rules!  I’d love it if you’d share yours.  ~Susan

        Our 24 Family Ways is a great devotional to use with older children (8+).

  © 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

Posted in Character Traits, Discipline, Elementary School, Encouragement, Family Rules, Goals, Mothering, Parenting, Spiritual Matters, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Teaching Children to be Gracious

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on March 13, 2010


Teaching Through Parenting       

          The hardest thing about teaching children any character trait is modeling it for them.  And if we want our children to learn graciousness, we have to make sure they see graciousness in action~~through us.  This is the hardest part of parenting…changing ourselves.  Anne Ortland says, “Successful  parenting means: One, becoming what you should be,  and two, staying close enough to the children that it will rub off.”  She challenges us further by asking, “What will you become, in order that your offspring may turn out to be great human beings for God?”  (Disciplines of the  Home.) 

           Mrs. Ortland’s quotes neatly summarize what the Bible says about discipling our children. Proverbs 23:26 says, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” Luke 6:40 says, “The disciple (we could insert “student,” or “child” here) is not above his master (parents); but every one that is perfect shall be as his master (parents).”

           When our young children are misbehaving, we should always look to ourselves first—because young children reflect all we say and do with their behaviors.  Before we can help our children change, we must change ourselves.  “Do as I say, not as I do” just doesn’t cut it.  Good parenting is just as much about controlling ourselves as it is controlling our children—remembering that as much is “caught” as is “taught.” 

           Yes, parents are teaching their children all the time– whether they intend to or not. We consciously teach them about the world, but we also unconsciously teach them with our behavior and our attitudes.  We need to be sure that the lessons we are teaching are the lessons we want our children to learn.  (In my book, I call this “teaching through parenting.”)

Teaching Graciousness~Systematically         

           A large part of graciousness boils down to good manners—and manners can be systematically taught. A good book to start with is The Family Book of Manners, by Hermine Hartley.  This book could be used with preschoolers and/or older children (tackle one behavior/manner a week.)

          We say a little something we call a “character catechism” along with our memory verses most mornings that I adapted from Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes… in You and Your Kids by Scott Turansky, & Joanne Miller):

~”How do we obey?  Everyday, all the way, in a quick and cheerful way.” 

~God wants us to honor others.  What does honor mean? 
1. Treating others special.
2.  Doing more than what is expected (going the extra mile.)
3.  Having a good attitude.
~I have a chance to show honor to people when:
1.  I am told to do something.
2.  I am told, “No.”
3.  When someone dishonors me.

Golden Rule Poem:
“Be you to others kind and true, as you’d have others be to you; and neither do nor say to men, whatever you would not take again.”   ~Author unknown

           I just picked up a real treasure for my boys:  A 1940 version of the Boy Scout’s Handbook.  We are going to begin reciting the “Boy Scout Pledge” (with a few of my own tweaks):
“On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Golden Rule…to help other people at all times, to keep myself physically strong and morally straight, and to do a good turn daily.  A Christian should be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.  Be prepared.” 

 Things to do:
~Set a good example for your children.
~Memorize Bible verses with your children, and practice them every morning during your devotions.
~Develop your own “character catechism” to practice during devotions (I’m working on a more complete version.)
~Practice being good:  Role-play manners with your children.  Act out possible scenarios, and practice proper responses. 
~Label your children’s character traits throughout the day:  “That was very kind of you.”   “Thank-you for sharing with your sister.  That was very unselfish of you, and it shows real love.”   “What a good helper you are!   You’ve done your good deed for the day.”   OR:  “You need to keep your hands to yourself.  Hitting is not kind.”  “Your tone of voice is not honoring me.  Can you say that again in a pleasant tone of voice?” 
~Read books to your children that will teach them character traits.  Look for examples of the character traits exemplified in books and real life, and point them out to your children.

 Suggested Books: 

           An especially good series, although not written from a Christian viewpoint, is A Child’s Book About… (Being Lazy, Being Mean, Disobeying, Interrupting, Throwing Tantrums, etc-many other titles), a “Help Me Be Good Book”, by Joy Berry (preschool age and up.)  Another favorite for our family is Richard Scarry’s Please and Thank-You Book, by Richard Scarry, which contains the story of Pig Will and Pig Won’t, a little pig who learns to be cheerful, cooperative, and helpful around the house. Other books to read:

 If Everybody Did, by Jo Ann Stover

 What Do You Do, Dear/What Do You Say, Dear? , by Sesyle Joslin and Maurice Sendak

 What Would Jesus Do? Charles M. Sheldon’s Classic In His Steps now retold for children, by Mack Thomas  

 Books for Parents: 

Creative Correction:  Extraordinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline, Lisa Welchel   

Don’t Make Me Count To Three, Ginger Plowman (my favorite; shows how to use Bible verses to teach character and reach the heart.)

 Etiquette Plus: Polishing Life’s Useful Skills, by Inge P. Cannon (use with children 6 and up.)

 For Instruction in Righteousness, A Topical Reference Guide for Biblical Child Training, by Pam Forster

 Hands-On Character Building, Rick and Marilyn Boyer

Laying Down the Rails: A Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook, by Sonja Shafer

 Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…In You and Your Kids!  and Good and Angry, by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller

This post contains excerpts from the book,Homepreschool and Beyond”; used with permission. © 2010 Susan Lemons,  all rights reserved.

Posted in Book Lists, Character Traits, Curriculum, Encouragement, Goals, Holiness, Homepreschool, Mothering, Parenting, Spiritual Matters | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Challenge To Christian Parents

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on February 23, 2010


 
 
 

“We are losing our children. Research indicates that 70% of teens who are involved in a church youth group will stop attending church within two years of their high school graduation. Think about that statement. It addresses only teenagers who attend church and participate in the youth group. What does that suggest about those teens who may attend church but do not take part in the youth group, or who do not go to church at all?

In a talk at Southwestern Seminary Josh McDowell noted that less than 1/3 of today’s youth attend church. If he is right and 67% do not go to church and then we lose 70% of those who do, that means that within two years of finishing high school only 10% of young Americans will attend church.”

Quoted from We Are Losing Our Children
Remarks to the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee in Nashville, TN

By: T.C. Pinckney
Brig. General USAF (ret)
Second Vice President – Southern Baptist Convention
thebaptistbanner@cox.net

 Read the full article: http://www.exodusmandate.org/art_we_are_loosing_our_children.htm

 

 
 
 

     Have you read The Last Christian Generation, or Already Gone? These are important books for every Christian to read. They both trace what is going on with the children of America, and why they are leaving the faith/church in droves. If you can choose only one, I’d choose The Last Christian Generation; it had more info about the solutions to the problem.

      These books will open your eyes to what is going on with our youth, but they will challenge you to examine yourself: Am I really teaching my children what they need to know about the Lord? Am I truly doing all I can to make sure I set a proper example for my children? Does the way I spend my time reflect my goals?

      I am guilty of this more than I’d like to admit: Not living my true goals; not making the main thing the main thing. So this is a personal challenge for you to be thinking about: 

   First of all, let’s consider our motives. What is the ultimate goal of homeschooling? What is the ultimate goal of parenting? Does your homeschool/parenting live up to that goal? Do you homeschool so that your children can get a good education/good job/go to a good college, or do you homeschool/parent with spiritual goals in mind?

   Does you faith affect your parenting and your homeschooling?

 

 

www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=457896

    I know from experience that there are no guarantees in life. Even Godly parents can have rebellious children; we are all born with that nasty sin nature. But if we try to live out our goals, we can also live on God’s promises (Prov. 22:6, John 10:28, Isa 54:13) if our children fall into sin or temporarily turn away from the truth. But those families who do not teach their childen about the Lord have no hope, and no promises to cling to.http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=3786

  I think it is so sad that the Lord gives us so much, and yet so many of us (even me), take it for granted, forgetting to make our relationship with God the most important part of our lives.

  Do you put your faith in action, living what you believe? DO YOU live out your faith in front of your children? How much time do you spend in your homeschool studying the Word, praying, memorizing scripture, in ministry or in worship compared to other  “school” subjects? Are you making the main thing the main thing?

   Where does your heart REALLY lie?

   The definition of insanity is doing the same thing but expecting a different result. So I am re-committing myself to being sure that the Word of God is primary in our home, and in our homeschool. I want to prepare my children to stand up to the world and to discern the snares of the enemy. I want them to know what other religions believe, and know why our beliefs are different. I want them to walk in truth (3 John 1:4). 

   I want them to have a personal, transforming relationship with God—one that produces Godly character. 

   I want my children to grow up to be Christians.

   If you will re-commit with me, send me a reply and let me know. Let’s be accountable to each other. I will send out additional challenges from time to time.

   Blessings,

        Susan

 

Other related articles (note: I can only endorse the page I’ve linked to; I cannot vouch for the entire content of these sites.)

 

http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/b.4226769/k.A211/Is_This_the_Last_Christian_Generation.htm 

 

 

© 2010 Susan Lemons all rights reserved.

 
 

 

 

Posted in Challenge to Parents, Elementary School, Encouragement, Holiness, Homepreschool, Homeschool, Spiritual Matters, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »